HAPPY APRIL FOOLS

I might be the only one today to wish you all a HAPPY April Fools day but to me it is a happy April Fools, or at least it used to be. This day used to be one of my very favorite holidays. For me it was next to Christmas because I used to get this incredible high doing April Fools jokes. I think I enjoyed it so much because I was the only one who remembered this holiday so it made it all the more fun for my victims. I have a long list of successful jokes, many of them started with Chip until he informed me they weren't very funny anymore. I personally think they are funny like the time I bought 20 disco lights and waited until Chip fell asleep and set them all up in our room connecting to one power cord and the song, "Flight of the Bumblebee" by Tchaikovsky and at 2:00 am he was awakened to pure chaos.




or the time I was pregnant and pretended that the morning sickness was so bad that I couldn't stop throwing up. It was in the middle of the night again and I had a bucket of water by the toilet with a large cup along with sound effects it was convincing enough that I had actually vomited enough to fill a swimming pool. That one didn't go over so well ;)


There were many more but my favorite one was when we were living in Boston and Chip thought he would get me back so he used the old amateur rubber band to the kitchen sink spray. Oh he thought he was so funny until I turned it on him. It had been raining in Boston for 5 days straight and that particular day it flooded our basement, like two feet of water that ruined everything. When Chip came home I told him that HIS April Fool's joke wasn't so funny either. I told him that I was feeling sick that morning and the boys came downstairs to get a drink and turned on the faucet. I told them they got scared of the water that squirted them and went running out of the kitchen. I told him I didn't come down for another 3 hours and look what happen in our basement as a result. I told him he was right and April Fools jokes are not fun! On his face was pure horror as he looked at our basement. Oh he felt so bad and I only could hold out for so long until I began to laugh hysterically.




After that Chip made me focus my jokes on other people so I got my friends by putting their houses up for sale at ridiculously low prices as well as invitations for open house.


I posted pictures of my brother-in-law who is a respectable pediatrician as the latest and greatest model coming to the Expo Center for autographs and casting auditions and I put one on everyone of his neighbors doors.



I gave my mom flowers all wrapped up from an anonymous friend that had been sprayed in farting powder,

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can't leave out the phone call to my dad that I have just crashed the car because I have been doing that one every year since I was 16 and he has fallen for it every time,



and my worst one had to be waking my children up early in the morning and telling them to grab their shoes because we are going to Disneyland. (DON"T JUDGE, I only let them believe it for like 10 seconds!)


Ok there have been a few paybacks from Kara, Tiffany and Zak, and my mom. I deserved everyone of them but I think I am here to say I am retiring from this holiday. I have come to realize that this holiday is a lonely holiday for me. I don't get any phone calls from friends, no one wants to do anything with me for fear I will get them, and even my kids don't trust a thing I do or say. So I am retiring my holiday for a season. Now who's to say I won't pull a Brett Favre and come back but for today I want to wish you all a very happy April Fools day and do something for me, get someone good so I can live vicariously through you!